Meet on the Ledge

Ron Holmes: vocals, acoustic guitar
former rat-catcher Ron lives in Warwick, within easy striking distance of the M40. "The traffic noise is a pain, but I can be in Sheffield in two hours" is his motto. Known to his friends as Old Lob, he holds a distinguished place in music history as Warwick's second loudest singer. Has two cats called Mind The Pipe and Cecil Audrey. His hobbies include intimidating fellow folkies with his Rolls Royce.

Allen Maslen: acoustic and electric guitars, keyboards, accordion, vocals
Arguably Stratford-upon-Avon's best-known Welsh Mancunian guitarist. He lives a stone's throw from Phil's house. And he should know, he's tried it. Once played as a session bloke on The James Whale Show complete with mullet and sparkly waistcoat. He has also been a male model, appearing in the Meccano catalogue when he was eleven. He is now 43 and frankly should know better.

Marion Morgan: violin, vocals
Marion once lived in Mickleton in Gloucestershire, in the shadow of Meon Hill - venue for many well-documented witchcraft murders. She now lives in Stratford-upon-Avon, two minutes' walk from The One Elm public house. Uses her Philosophy degree to terrify and confuse the other band members. Shares her flat with boyfriend Tony (a bass player), daughter Hannah, and some snails in a jar.

Phil Dipple: bass guitar
Phil also lives in Stratford-upon-Avon, five minutes' walk from The Squirrel public house, but hasn't drunk there since the now-legendary Night of the Raw Liver. He didn't play the bass on Joe Dolce's Shaddupya Face. In his spare time he enjoys shopping for atrocious trousers, and his ambition is to have a tower block named after him.

Paul Johnston: drums
40-year-old Paul (Ranjit to his friends) didn't play the drums on any Eurovision-winning songs, particularly Save Your Kisses For Me by The Brotherhood of Man. Owns a bonkers cat called Merlin and his dad is a retired professional footballer. Yes, really. Stan Johnston, Fulham and England Under 21s. And his mum was an exotic dancer. Still is. Spends his leisure time watching his favourite football team, Struggling Coventry.

Smegma sound: Don 'Smegma' Ward holds a BSc in Making Dodgy Folk Acts Sound Half Decent. Rumours that he was hired because he owns a large estate car and doesn't drink are competely unfounded. Copies of his contract are available on www.smegmascontract.org.uk . The editor's decision is final.

Photo Keith Kitson